Category: By Lisa

07/21/06

Permalink 06:16:33 pm, Categories: By Lisa, 1415 words   English (US)

Memories: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

Have you ever had a memory that really just brought you joy? What about memories that you wish with all your might you could forget? How about the ones we KNOW we should forget, but by holding on to them, we feel we have ‘just cause’ to turn our nose up at someone?

I have those memories. Perhaps most of us do. One of my memories was when God saw fit—even when I didn’t realize I needed it, to send His message to me. I thought I already had the message. After all, wasn’t I a devoted worker in my church? Ahh… I remember back when…..

However, in remembering ‘back when’, it also brings to memory the plight I was in at that time. Nothing earth shattering, nothing monumental, nothing that would have really caught the attention of a passerby. I had been slowly sinking into the depths of the churchianity scene, and didn’t really know what to do about it. Have you ever just become so active in the church scene, that you were embarrassed to admit that on in the inside you were liken unto a withered old prune? That was me. Caught and no way to get out.

FWD to God sending me someone that shared the Gospel with me, and eventually, I found myself at the threshold of Truth. Now, what was I going to do about it? For me to plunge into God’s Truth, was by default, also proclaiming that my Christianity of past years was fake—shallow at best. Pam mentioned in her post that she still had friends who sometimes turned their noses up at other ‘less’ Christians than themselves. Might I confess that once upon a time, I was that sort of Christian? Those are memories I’d just as soon not remember, but they’re just a much part of who I was, as my birth name.

Within that same memory, though… is the memory of how even though I was self-righteous and quite frankly, reeked of arrogance, God still loved me! That’s what really just leaves me speechless every time I think of it. God saw just what it would take to be receptive to His Truth, and waited until just the right time. Has it been that way for you? Do you remember when you first came to Christ for Life? Not merely a fire insurance policy, but for His entire LIFE. To live NOW. In time, He has taught me that there is so much more to being one of His, than merely ‘not going to hell’, although that’s a nice fringe benefit. But to live NOW, and to LOVE now. Not just love folks who are the same as we are, (how easy is that if the Pharisees can even do that?) but to really love. Not necessarily the gushy gushy love, but the real tough love that practices self-restraint for the benefit of others? In fact, Love does EVERYTHING for the benefit of others. As Trent mentioned in one of his posts, nowhere does it say we can do the commandments God gave us (love others as God loves us) but through Christ, Him being in us, thereby our hope of Glory, it CAN be done.

This is a looooonnnnggggg lesson that I am STILL learning to this day, and I imagine will be learning until death do I part. I hate to say it, but I don’t always respond in love. The scripture even tells us in Romans, that if we have faith? Great! Have it to ourselves. In other words, don’t be a stumbling block with our new Freedom in Christ. I might know something is perfectly okay, but if by doing it, it causes my brother/sister to stumble, then I need to not do it—period. Love doesn’t always have to be right, or have it’s own way. Yep—still learning.

The good thing, is that no matter what our background, no matter what works have been attributed to us, God has ALWAYS loved us and always will. We might have a memory of when a friend/loved one wronged us. Bad memory? Yep. Best thing to do with is what Paul suggests in Philippians: but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,--Philippians 3:13 NLT More than likely, these memories won’t ever go away, but through trusting Christ, these memories can be disciplined to not rule my thinking process.

Good memories: Do you remember a time you were going through a trial, and God brought you through it? Why do we suppose He did? If He brought us through our previous trial, doesn’t it stand to reason He’ll bring us through our current trial? Not saying that God will always wave a magic wand and immediately cause our trials to disappear, but as we’re going through them, we can remind ourselves that God isn’t ignoring us. He’s not shut a deaf ear to our cries. The question we can ask ourselves, is that, while we’re going through such and such trial, do we REALLY trust that God’s grace is sufficient for us? Or is it merely lip service?

I have to confess that I ‘claimed’ that verse for myself for years. Unfortunately, it was just lip service. My actions proved such. Christ called all the ones who were weary and heaven burden to come to Him. His yoke was easy and that’s the one He wanted us to carry. (Matthew 11:28) Memory serves me correctly—I had been wearing the wrong yoke. So, yes, believe it or not, although the trial itself may have been painful, it’s a ‘good memory’ to remember the fact that even so, God was faithful. Are we going through trials now? Not to worry, one day, this current trial will become a ‘past’ trial. We can remember (although not now) at how Christ brought us through it, and how it caused us to depend on Him more strongly than before. Why not believe that same thing to our current trial?

Ugly memories: remember the times when you acted like a total blundering idiot? Me too. (A BUNCH of times....) Unfortunately, when I remember those times (mainly it’s Satan reminding me of them) I want to just shrink up and die! Did I REALLY say that hateful thing to someone??? Did I HONESTLY think I was better than so and so??? Oh Lord! Why didn’t You just give me lockjaw for just a few minutes at least!?!? So many hurt feelings would have been spared, and I wouldn’t have been a selfish old biddy to my friends. I wish I could take things back. I wish I had never said them to begin with… I wish… I wish… I wish…

Tough.

What’s done is done, and no amount of wishing in the world can undo it. There are some folks that have chosen to not forgive me, and try as I might, no reconciliation will take place. Here’s where love comes in. Do I love these folks with agape love? Do I avoid them like the plague whenever I see them, because I know they still hate me? This takes a LOT of self-discipline on my part. Part of me wants to lash out at their ‘unforgiving’ attitude (after all, they’re gasp! “Christians!”) and part of me wants to turn my nose up at them (remember the Christians Pam spoke of—that’s me) for being so immature that ‘they’ cannot muster up enough forgiveness for me. And then at other times, I want to avoid them like the plague, for fear they’ll cause a scene and loudly proclaim all the stupid things I’ve done to them. These are definitely ugly memories. Again, like Paul said, we need to forget the things that are past, and press on towards the high calling. I’m learning to not focus so much on the memories, but rather, focus on how He’d have me behave through any situation—good, bad or ugly.

I hope this encourages you with your own memories. Some are worth letting go. Some are gentle reminders of where we’ve been, how God worked in our lives, and how we can grow to trust Him more with each trial we ‘grow’ through.
Blessings,
Lisa

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