Post details: Giving Thanks


Permalink 03:19:34 pm, Categories: Announcements [A], By Pam, 700 words   English (US)

Giving Thanks

I've been moping quite a bit lately, feeling that I've nothing to write. I've been feeling that I've nothing encouraging to say to anyone. You see, I've recently been diagnosed with a disease that is likely to take my life and most certainly, promises a rough ride between now and that final moment. Also during this time, my parents and my sister have turned their backs on me and our relationship seems to be ended. This is not the first time they have thrown me away but I think it is the last time. There is nothing quite like having those who should love you the most abandon you in the same week you are faced with the certainty of your mortality. The blackness of that pain has caused me to question my validity as a human being and a believer. I am not angry at God nor do I question Him but it is my own value and the reality of my beliefs that I have lately been unsure of.

I am not the first woman to face a painful death nor the only person not valued highly by those I was born to; but it is this dark valley that I must pass through and my moment of forsakening to bear. Jesus also faced that moment and passed through and I know that in Him is my safe passage.

My illness is the result of sin that I committed long ago and as a result, I have been ill to varying degrees for most of my life. It is easy for me to see how my being devalued as a child led me to the place of committing that sin and allow myself to be filled with sorrow and regret; but I know that is not how I am to live out my life in Christ. It is as if in this moment, the continual weaving of sorrow and hope that has been my life has come together in near final clarity and that which has been born of hope stands out in vivid contrast against the background of sorrow and despair. There is no room for bitterness toward another when I view the entire tapestry of my life in Christ. With each sorrow, God has created a darkened void that serves as a background to more clearly depict the light of His glory in my life. If I had not known the depths of abandonment and disregard, I could not so appreciate the unconditional love that Jesus has for me. Though I could never earn the love of my birth family no matter how I reshaped myself, Jesus has always loved me no matter what shape He has found me in. Though I be forsaken by all who should love me and even by my own body, Jesus will never abandon me.

In the place that I find myself now, there is no theology, no high-minded banter, and no room for judging any other. There is no room for the pretense of religion. There is only Jesus and He is all that I need. I know that it is Jesus Who will show me how to live while I am dying.

Though Jesus is all that I need, He has also given me much more. Though there is much in my life at present to cause despair there is much more to be thankful for. God gave me a husband who loves me as Jesus loves me. He loves me just because I am and he has been my faithful companion in life for nearly thirty years. I have a son that gave up a good job and moved 2,000 miles to be with us. I have another son who has brought into my life a young woman who is the daughter of my heart and they have given me a beautiful grandson. This Thanksgiving promises to be the most genuine holiday I have ever celebrated. It is one of reckoning that fills me with wonder as I acknowledge the work of God in my life through Jesus Christ in bringing me to the point of faith in which I have learned in all things, to give thanks.

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Comment from: Len [Visitor] ·
Pam, you are loved by those who truly LOVE THE LORD. Our prayers are with you as you face this trial, ... but NEVER ALONE. May THE LORD YESHUA bless you and grant you His strength and health in the coming days.
"thru much tribulation do we enter into [the fullness] of the Kingdom."
Be blest
and rest
Permalink 11/23/06 @ 05:02
Comment from: Steve [Visitor] ·
Pam, I am so saddened to hear of your illness. I hardly know what to say. And it saddens me more to hear of the rejection you are feeling when you most need support. Be sure that you never have too earn our Fathers acceptance. I sense His deep love for you in my own heart at this moment.

I hope you know that you still have brothers and sisters who do care. Your courage is inspiring and please accept my best wishes hopes. I pray for Fathers best for you but even if you don't get what we might think is the best I have no doubt that the realty of what He has for you from hear on is so very much better than what we could ever imagine. I believe He is that good with all of my heart and that you are that important to Him.

God bless you sis.

love, grace and peace,
Permalink 11/23/06 @ 17:11
Comment from: Charles Cameron [Visitor] ·
I wonder if you might be interested in my Bible Reading Notes, covering the whole of Scripture
Best Wishes.
Permalink 11/23/06 @ 19:40
Comment from: Charles Cameron [Visitor] ·
I wonder if you might be interested in my Bible Reading Notes, covering the whole of Scripture
Best Wishes.
Permalink 11/23/06 @ 19:42
Comment from: Cliff [Visitor]
As I read this news I felt an immediate loss. We are all so connected even if we don't always know it or understand how, but when Jesus has shown us such an unbelievable love how can we not feel connected? We have never met and yet you own a part of my heart. You and your family will have my best thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing this difficult moment in your life. Your strength is an inspiration to us all.

In His LOVE,

Permalink 11/23/06 @ 21:16
Comment from: tom reindl [Visitor] ·

I am glad to have visited here. I am very sorry for the pain in your life, and I can't even begin to relate to a mortal illness. But I'll be back and visiting your blog every day. Your heart is a good one, and that comes through in your writing. Thank you for sharing your pain with us. May we all hasten to share celebrations as well, even if they are just little ones.
Permalink 11/23/06 @ 22:17
Comment from: Pam [Member]
Thanks so much, guys. I had a wonderful day, full of life, and I must have also felt your prayers because I have had such peace all day. It was so good to spend time with my kids and my grandson and dear friends. God is so good and nothing Satan throws at me can cut me off from his goodness.

I've struggled for quite a while, wondering if I should share this openly. I'm glad I did.

I'm a tough old bird and intend to fight this every step of the way and I also know that God has assigned a certain number of days for me to live and I will live every single one of them. In reality, my life is no more uncertain than before this diagnosis but I have been made more aware of it. I am so thankful for the certainty that I have in Christ Jesus. I'm also thankful for tender hearted brothers who pray for me and encourage me with such kind and thoughtful words.

God's plan for each of us leads us down paths that are often a surprise to us and of late, I've learned that no relationship should be taken for granted and the only permanent relationship we have is with Jesus. All other earthly relationships come to an end. I do however, look forward to the time when all has been perfected and made eternal and no longer will be our common predisposition to sin that causes misunderstanding, strive, and rejection. It will be a glorious day when we all like children simply give love and receive love. Thanks again, guys for giving me a glimpse of that today.

Permalink 11/23/06 @ 22:21
Comment from: Len Hummel [Visitor] ·
Well, sis., you're certainly in our prayers and thoughts. May the LORD be glorified in your every every way.

Remember this also, dear one: DO NOT RECEIVE any ill-report or 'prognosis' from the doctors. They may mean well, but their words and assumptions can be used by the enemy against us. BELIEVE THAT JESUS HEALS, ... or that He will take you Home ONLY in HIS time.

all the best.


Permalink 11/24/06 @ 03:56
Comment from: Kansas Bob [Visitor] ·
Life can be so brutal but God is so loving and kind. Nine months before my first wife passed away I had this experience. As you read about it I hope that it encourages you to know that He is there when we need Him most.

At thirty-nine years old my wife, Ellen, had heart and kidney failure ... at the brink of her death I found myself begging God to not let her die ... I could not accept her situation or the possibility of her death. Three and a half years later after praying almost daily for her healing ... never giving up ... I found myself again faced with the possibility of her dying. Driving to work one day ... racked with the agony of thoughts of a world without Ellen … I began to pray in the Spirit. I saw a picture in my mind. In this vision I saw myself standing on a mountain looking down at a valley ... some how I knew it was the valley of the shadow of Ellen's death. As I looked into the vision I saw Jesus come to my side, take my hand, and walk with me into the valley. It was a comforting picture. He was letting me know that I wouldn't face that valley alone.
Permalink 11/24/06 @ 08:56
Comment from: Pam [Member]
Hey Len,

Thanks and I do know that God can change any situation at anytime He chooses. I'm not without hope, I'm just human. None of us want to go through the Red Sea and I would much prefer to sidestep this also. I know God knows best how and where and in what circumstances I can best glorify Him and that is what it is all about.

Thanks again for your concern and prayers, Len.

Permalink 11/24/06 @ 19:41
Comment from: Pam [Member]
Thanks, Bob for sharing this with me. You know, my biggest fears are for my husband and I pray that Jesus will give Him such a vision that will carry him through. He's already been through so much with me and I feel such a burden at times. I hate putting him through more but if I'm sure of anything it is of his love for me and I know he'd rather be going through things with me than without me.

Your having passed through with Jesus encourages me that He will do the same for my Petie. Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ.

Permalink 11/24/06 @ 19:47
Comment from: Don R. [Visitor] ·
My heart feels for you dear sister. I cannot imagine what you have experienced and are to experience in the future. The love of Christ and his grace is superabundant for all our needs. I have given your name to a friend of mine who is a hospice chaplain. He is a believer in the gospel of grace. His words will mean much to you. God bless you.
Permalink 11/25/06 @ 21:27
Comment from: Pam [Member]
Thanks, Don. I'm really doing okay most of the time. Whatever I suffer now or in the future, there is always someone who has it worse and I have Jesus. I know he'll get me through whatever rough waters lie ahead. He also has to power to change it all. I'm not without hope.

Permalink 11/25/06 @ 23:33
Comment from: señor jefe [Visitor] ·
I pray that God will grant you peace that is beyond even your own understanding; that He will grant you wisdom, to fully understand His purposes in you; and that He will minister healing to your body, so that you may declare the mighty works of the Lord (Ps.118:14-18).

Romans 8:18- For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

Blessings and peace.
Permalink 11/25/06 @ 23:35
Comment from: Pam [Member]
Thank you, jefe. There isn't much more to ask for than what the words you have blessed me with promise.:0) All those things are in Jesus and I'm so blessed to know Him.

Have a very happy Sunday.

Permalink 11/25/06 @ 23:39
Comment from: lisa Brookins [Visitor]
Hey Pam,
Voice from the past here. I'm just now slowing down at work long enough to even attempt to visit my online buds...

I do want to add my sorrow and encouragement as the rest have--but what's left to say? Although I don't frequent here as often as I'd like to, you're in my thoughts alot--just because we seem so much alike.

I still have your email address, and if you're up to it, I'd like to start corresponding with you there, as well.

Love you, sister,
With love and prayers and hope
Permalink 12/05/06 @ 22:49
Comment from: Pam [Member]
Thanks, Lisa. It would be great to hear from you. I know how busy teachers are though so don't feel obligated.:0) I'm hanging in there and when I'm not, Jesus is hanging on to me. All is well.

Permalink 12/06/06 @ 12:55
Comment from: Len [Visitor]
Hi Pam. Be sure to keep us updated, ... and continue sharing here as the Lord leads.

GOD bless.

Permalink 01/04/07 @ 02:46
Comment from: Charlie Cameron [Visitor] ·
A while ago, I left a comment, inviting you to visit my "Christ in all the Scriptures" blog. The link won't work since I have closed that blog. To find the Bible reading notes I mentioned in the earlier comment, you should visit my "St Andrew's, Bellsmyre" blog.
Permalink 06/07/10 @ 20:01
Comment from: Charlie Cameron [Visitor] ·
In my first comment (third of the comments on this post) - Sorry I sent it twice! - I mentioned three blogs. The third of these blogs is no longer available. The other two had blogs had been closed down, but now they're available again. They can be found here and here.
Permalink 08/16/11 @ 17:23
Comment from: Charlie Cameron [Visitor] ·
Sorry - the links in the final sentence of my last comment don't work. Following the link given with this comment, you will reach the first of these blogs.
Permalink 09/11/11 @ 07:39

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