by Trent - from Oct 2005
Am I best defined by how I behave under the worst circumstance or under the most ideal circumstance?
Here is my Christmas wish list of the ideal impression that I want to leave.
(is yours like mine?):
At my worst, I am this list.
(is yours different?):
I am here to say that the most accurate definition of my condition is the second list. Wouldn't you rather know how someone behaves during hardship? Even if I somehow leave the proper/desired impression, then I am only a hardship away from revealing my other list.
The effort to mask my condition with external deception is called "charm."
The impression is not reality. "Charm is deceiving." (Sidenote: Consider Jesus during hardship - "Forgive them, for they know not what they do. " )
So, I will pull you close with one hand and push you away with my other. I want you to be impressed with me, but I want you to not get so close that you figure out what I am really capable of.
The deception is that by reforming my behavior, that I can change my inner self. Even God did not attempt that. The hope of the Gospel is that I can exchange my inner self (Adam) for God's life (Christ.) ... and this new life will express God's characteristics instead of mine, moment by moment as I rely upon Him.
Can you imagine what a relief it is to abandon the mask?
Kurt, question not your worthiness, rather question if you are forgiven, and if you have come to full repentance. ~ God [Letters from God and His Christ - Volume 1 - Those Whom the Lord Has Cleansed Are Now Clean Now, and Worthy of the Kingdom]