Active love means making room for something different, and appreciating all that describes how we are not the same. When Adam called Eve by her name it was an act of love. Before this Adam did not acknowledge her as an independent person with a name. Before, he saw his helpmate as an extension of himself. Adam changed when he realized that sameness could not be achieved after the fall. No longer was she "wo-man" He recognized that she was different in appreciable ways and Adam wanted to honor it with respect. Love is oneness, not sameness. And we read that "Adam knew his wife Eve."

If I am to learn to love others in this world, I have to get to know them. At some point I must make room for them within my heart, differences and all. May I be given sufficient grace to continue the process of loving my neighbors, as I am given to love you.

There is an interesting custom in Jewish weddings. Before the ceremony, the groom visits the bride and covers her head with a veil. Then he leaves her to wait for her to come forward. Traditionally this is explained as the groom "making sure who the bride is." Why? Because Jacob was tricked by his father-in-law, who traded Rachel (who Jacob was fond of) for Leah, his other daughter. Jacob consummated with Leah in the dark before he realized the deception. Jacob accepted his fate, and later also married the woman of his choice, Rachel.

The "traditional explanation" is weak. The tradition of the groom and veil is NOT a way of making sure of who the bride is. If that were the case then there would be not veil and the groom could examine her during the ceremony. No, the veil is a way to describe love. The groom may not know who he is marrying and indeed will not know everything about her. But, he will commit to love and learn to make room for all that he does not know about her. That is the meaning of the veil, for we read that Jacob made room for Leah in his life and later was buried with her, instead of the bride of his choice.

The point is that many people have not learned the love of God. His love always make room for others and commits to do so. Indeed I want to know His love fully and pass it on to others. To do so, I must commit to accept others, even though I do not know all there is to know about them. I must make room for their differences and achieve oneness apart from taking on a conquest of sameness.