Post details: trying to find some stability with self help books, reading the bible,going to daily mass.


Permalink 03:26:38 am, Categories: By Trent, GraceHead counseling, 1668 words   English (US)

trying to find some stability with self help books, reading the bible,going to daily mass.

For MORE QUESTIONS like this, click here.

I recently received this question- Any advice for someone stuck in this situation?

Question -

I am 24 years old and originally from Europe.It was always my dream to
come to the US ,and I did,but the thing always missing was my family.
Years of misery were overcome also,when they gave up their
business,family,etc to come here also.Now that they are here,there are
always arguments (They stay at my husband's and my apartment) and it isn't very harmonious at all.I understand,because they are trying to set up their business here with very little money.It is hard on me to hear the complaints about how things are here.Anyhow,I guess I have been trying so hard to find some kind of inner peace and stability with self help books,reading the bible,going to daily mass,but still right now there is an extreme low.My parents and I won't even talk and I never find happiness in my work.
It seems I am just not good at all with people at home or at work.How do I find God???????????
I need something to hold on to,can you give me advice?

(my answer can be read by clicking the "read more" button below)


After praying about it, I gave this reply:

I think that I can share some things with you to help. I am glad that you are seeking an answer, for the intent to find is always rewarded. Maybe something that I offer will be part of the solution, maybe your answer will be found through someone else. Whatever the case, if it is Truth that you find, it will set you free. But, free from what?

You might be considering that freedom sounds pretty good right about now, particularly freedom from all of the disturbance and negativity in your environment. But, if you transplant to a new environment, will you really find the peace that passes all understanding?

It has been said, and I agree, “All of your unsatisfying relationships have one common ingredient: that ingredient is you.” :-) That is true for everyone, and often we look for an answer that has to do with those around us and miss the opportunity to grow so that those things don’t bother us any more. The real answer lies within you, so that you can have a peace even when it doesn’t make sense. When everything is wrong, and you have nothing that brings happiness, you can find joy. There is no such thing as un-joy! Armed with a supernatural joy, you should be able to say that, “All of my joyful relationships have one common ingredient: God.” But, how do you get near to God?

That is a question that has defined much of human history. Even the earliest recording has this theme. Man in woman, in their shame hid themselves from God, afraid to expose themselves to their Creator. Maybe you don’t feel ashamed of anything in particular, but I bet that you can point to things in your life that are very similar to what man and woman did. They altered their appearance before God, so that they would appear better, or hopefully more acceptable. The Bible tells us that they sowed together leaves of the fig tree and made garments to hide their nakedness. They became religious.

Religion is simply man’s attempt to beatify themselves before God. We don’t sow together fig leaves, but we do other things that are calculated to make us more acceptable to God. What pious things do you hope will hide the real you from the holiness of God?

When I was 14 I tried on some fig leaves of my own. I was taught that God could not relate to me if I had sin in my life, and that the only way to remedy this is to ask God to forgive each and every sin. The lesson was clear that any wrong doing could ruin any hope of being close to God.
And the only way that I knew to conceal my sinfulness was to ritualistically confess and petition for another chance each night before I went to bed. The fig leaves didn’t really fit that well as you will begin to see.

On the first night that I set out to do this, I remember grunting as I replayed the day, and thought of all the things that I did, to see if it was sin or not. I recalled about 10 things, and asked God to forgive me of each one. However, I knew that I had done more then ten things wrong (and I bet Adam knew that fig leaves weren’t going to really hide him that well,) but I pressed on, and thought harder. I did not want to forget a single sin, because the wages of sin is death. At some point, I was fatigued and too tired to continue, so I asked God if He would just forgive all my sins. Suddenly, I panicked as I heard myself say that.

“Forgive me for all my sins?” I thought made since, but would it work? What if I died before I asked? Would that “unconfessed sin” send me to hell? Was my relationship with God really up to me, and was I reliable enough to bear that burden? All of these thoughts raced through my mind, and I became angry. “If it is up to me,” I said while shaking my fist to the sky, “Then count me out. I want nothing to do with your salvation, or You.” And I meant it.

I kept repeating that I hated God’s religion, but I now felt empty. I apprehended that my weakness and impatience would keep me from God, because people more devoted then me could confess better and not get so angry. I felt hollow, undone, and horrible, but I knew that I could not keep confessed up. I was in the pit of failure, despair and depression. But, there in the pit, I made an intelligent inquiry.

I can’t even repeat what I said in my heart. Loosely translated, I guess I asked, “What is it?” I wanted to know what I was really missing. I wanted to know real Truth. I would settle for nothing less, and so I cried with all of my heart yelling with my thoughts and mind. I stomped around like a bull and demanded to know, “WHAT IS IT??” How do you think God answered this burnt out 14 year old that just called His salvation a joke?

I don’t know if you believe God speaks to people, but I am telling you that He spoke to me that night, and I tremble as I write this. His voice still echoes in my soul, and I can still hear the reverberation when I am still. His voice was so loud that a freight train could not drown it out. It shook my body and laid me to waste. I was flattened and paralyzed from the blast. God said, “Trent, I love you.” That is all He said, and all He needed to say. The message was crystal clear. And to this day I cannot even bless my food without crying.

“I love you,” even though you curse my salvation. “I love you,” even though you want nothing to do with me. “I love you,” even though you are weak, uncommitted, and a complete failure at religion. “Trent, I love you no matter what you do.”

Isn’t that what He told us on the cross, when they spat on Him, and mocked Him? He started with twelve devoted and ended with eleven cowards who denied Him and left Him hanging in disgrace, but He loved the world so much that He gave His life to those that are even His enemies? Were they religious enough? Were their fig leaves fooling anyone? Did they have anything to provoke His love, or was it spontaneous? Were we lovely enough that God would consider us worthy of His only Son?

God is love. You cannot provoke Him to love you less, and you cannot provoke Him to love you more. He cannot love you more, and He will not love you less, and this Truth can change your life. Is that what He is speaking into your soul as you read this?

I want you to do this for me. Prove me wrong. Next time your family is a mess, and they are bringing you down, take time to be humbled by God’s unconditional love. Agree with God in your heart that He accepts you as you are, without a single improvement that could make Him love you more. Agree with Him that He will love you no matter how you act toward your family, and then invite Him to command you and empower you to live that love out to those around you. Just agree and invite. Agree and invite.

Do this and tell me prove to me that it doesn’t make any difference.

You might be wondering how to have this faith. Easy: “Thank God it is true.” Every time you need faith, you need thankfulness. You cannot have one without the other. Train yourself to be THANKFUL that God accepts you because of Jesus, not because of you. Thank Him over and over, and watch faith grow, as He spontaneously sheds His love abroad in your heart.

Then in a week or so, write back and tell me it made no difference. It is only two weeks, what do you have to loose except some crummy fig leaves and a bunch of frustration?

Start tonight? Why not?

Related entries:
Directory of all entries by title

Trackback address for this post:

Comments, Trackbacks, Pingbacks:

Comment from: Steve [Visitor] ·

“Trent, I love you no matter what you do.” Man, how much we all need to hear that for ourselves....and I can relate as Father did something similar for me thirty some odd years ago.

I might add that even if Father doesn't seem to be responding to her invitation, it doesn't change the fact of how great and unconditional his love is for this lady and her troubled family. That knowledge is the best medicine for any condition.

Permalink 11/10/05 @ 12:26
Comment from: Trent [Member] ·
Thanks Steve.

Glad you found my blog. I'm kind of new to blogging, and feel like I haven't even started yet. Mainly because a lot of these entries are adaptations from stuff that I've written before.

Its nice to know that I can be understood in these things. If you are like me, once you understood unconditional love things got strange. At church, I thought people would want to know about this, but they indeed saw it as a disruption. It was a disruption ... A disruption of religious slavery. So, early on ... I had to get used to the idea that understanding these things meant estrangement and the end of my comfort zone.

Still would not change it for the world.

Little did I know at that time, that I wasn't alone. There are plenty of Christians that were defeated, only to find out that defeat didn't matter to God (nor does 'success'.) He loves us just the same! Wonderful!

Ripening for the harvest,
Permalink 11/11/05 @ 12:35

Leave a comment:

Your email address will not be displayed on this site.
Your URL will be displayed.
Allowed XHTML tags: <p, ul, ol, li, dl, dt, dd, address, blockquote, ins, del, span, bdo, br, em, strong, dfn, code, samp, kdb, var, cite, abbr, acronym, q, sub, sup, tt, i, b, big, small>
(Line breaks become <br />)
(Set cookies for name, email & url)

I serve , the Lord.

Please enter the name of the Lord (the Risen One) into the entry area BEFORE clicking on the Send comment button.

Hint: the version of the name is the English version, not the Hebrew way to say His name. All letters are uppercase. Rhymes with "freeze us."

Blog All

Automatically aggregates all posts from all other blogs. This allows you to easily track everything that is posted on this system. You can hide this blog from the public by unchecking 'Include in public blog list' in the blogs admin.

July 2013
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
<<  <   >  >>
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 31        


this site  web    



Syndicate this blog XML

What is RSS?

powered by