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Here is another recent question that came to my inbox from a stranger.

I feel I might not completely understand the concept of salvation, that or I'm a complete failure... or both. I know I have failed God. I've sinned, I've done wrong when I knew it was wrong. I continuously fail God, over and over and over again. I so desperately want forgiveness, but often I fear I won't be received. I'm not worthy of it, I don't deserve it, and I don't see why God would give it to me after I have hurt Him so many times. I want to be "good enough" for God, but I know I can't. I have accepted Christ as my Savior, and yet I feel awful; I have nothing to give Him in return. When I get to heaven, I want to hear the words "Well done good and faithful servant." But I haven't been faithful. I fear I will be turned away. I'm at a point of desperation and seemingly hopeless confusion. As I read my Bible, I see Jesus as loving, but again, after being hurt so many times after dying for me, I fear I may not be able to come back.
Would He take me back?


I love your question, because I know how you feel.

When I used to fall, I waited for about five months to reunite with God's presence, and would spend that time beating myself up and wallowing in guilt. And after that time, I would return and God accepted me. Then I tried 3 months of away-time. God accepted me. Then I decided that I would go a week or two of penitence before reuniting. Then a week, then a day. God accepted me. Now, I just turn to Him with the very next moment. And did you know that God accepts me? His acceptance is changing my life! I can't find that acceptance anywhere, so I turn to Him more and more quickly ... more and more often.

Is it any different for you?

God needs to love us every year, and every week, and every day, and every hour, and every moment. And likewise, I need Him every moment of every hour of every day of every week of every year.

There is no subtle floating between stages in growth. We are either carnal in this moment (relying upon our own resources) or we are spiritual in each moment - (relying upon God's nourishing supply.) And when that moment is over, we have a new one the next moment.

Christ must be gathered everyday, even every moment. You can never surplus His supply.

He is the true bread that comes from heaven and like the manna of old ...

Exodus 16
18but when they measured out what they had gathered, those who gathered more had no extra and those who gathered less weren't short--each person had gathered as much as was needed.
19Moses said to them, "Don't leave any of it until morning."
20But they didn't listen to Moses. A few of the men kept back some of it until morning. It got wormy and smelled bad.

Still trying to coast on the Jesus that you gathered before? What does yesterday have to do with your need for Him today?

God blesses those that draw near to Him every moment, and not merely satisfied with the Jesus that they gathered the moment before.

To make this happen across the board to all of His beloved, the Lord Jesus rigged it that we are weak. That is right we are weak and that is lovely. We just can't manage on our own, can we? We have proven it over and over and we will prove it again tomorrow. He safeguards His glory in our weakness so that we just can't stray from Him with ANY success. I know people make it look like that is possible, but it isn't.

Picture us like toasters instead of a cell phone. We operate plugged in, and when we aren't directly drawing power from the circuit we don't work. A cell phone has a battery so it doesn't need to be plugged in all the time. Rather it can be unplugged and still operative, right?

So here is the question: Why are you figuring that you can spiff yourself up on your own and then merit a standing before God? Who is feeding you that lie?

The difference between the faithful and the faker is NOT found in whether someone is capable of failure, but in how failure is handled when it happens.

If you stand before God holding your faith in Jesus in this bag and your deeds in another, how will you handle defeat? If you fall into sin, does it make you shrink back from God, or run to Him? How do you handle the failure?

When I shrink back from God after I fail then it reveals whether my faith is in my works or it is in Jesus. If bad behavior makes me feel as though I have less standing before God, then how can I say that my faith is in Christ? Am I not going through a crisis of faith?

The Christian walking in faith handles failure differently, and therefore fails less often. Falling into sin for for such a Christian is a catalyst for nearness to God. It causes us to run to Him as the Author and Finisher of our faith. We know that He will complete the work that He began in us, and we can run to Him in our defeat. The resultant nearness keeps us from falling further, and in the nearness we know that we have every possible sin latent within us so we are afraid to leave His presence because of the inevitable stumbling that will happen.

Is there anything that nearness to God cannot cure? Is there any reason to shrink away from Him when you fall, if your faith is in Christ alone?

Here is your homework. I don't care if you have done this before or not ... do it for me this once. Go find a copy of "The Passion of the Christ" on VCR or DVD and watch it.

When you watch it, think of this ... it pleased God to crush Him. It was HIS pleasure to do it.
Isa 53:10
But the LORD was pleased To crush Him, putting {Him} to grief;

Why was the Father pleased to crush Him .. and why was Jesus pleased to be crushed for us?

Think of a child in well, and sharp things all along the wall of the well. The rescuer reaches down and gets cuts all over his arm, but does it gladly. He would rather hold the child and keep them from the well than avoid being cut. He is pleased to do it.

Think of the father holding his sleepy baby. His arm goes numb and starts to hurt. Pretty soon it burns and stings, but the Father looks at the sleeping child and endures the pain for His great love. He would rather hold the baby in pain, than let the baby down and get relief.

Does God love you? Does He forgive you? Can you be sure?

Watch the Passion and write back. I won't answer that question, because I want you to answer it for yourself.

Ripening for the harvest,
Trent