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Reading Pam's post earlier brought to my memory something I'd like to share with you all.

A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilage to attend a Bible Conference of sorts over in Dallas Texas. On the Sunday morning service, a couple of friends of mine brought their new grandbaby to church. This was my first time seeing her, and I must admit, I was excited at the prospect of perhaps holding her. I LOVE babies! My own have reached teenage years, and I must say, can be trying at times.

The new grandbaby wasn't feeling well, as she was trying to fight off a cold. However, I couldn't help myself, I was DYING to hold her.. just for a few minutes..unfortunately, so was everyone else. At first, she allowed me to ooh and aah over her, paying my due respects to her. Then, moments later, she'd had enough, and wanted her Grandma again. Before church started, she'd grabbed someone's coffee, spilling it on her, was startled when several 'mom's jumped to aid her in cleaning up the coffee, and making sure that Baby was okay; there were so many new people, since this was a conference that folks from all over came. Too many things that upset Baby's world. She was not happy. She just wanted to be left alone with her Grandma and Grandpa. She made upset Baby noises to announce her displeasure at how the world was.

I couldn't help but to relate this to my own life. How often do I make noises of displeasure of how the outside world is behaving? Whether towards me, friends, or just behaving in general. Just as Baby knew that Grandma was close by, she still voiced her displeasure; so I also know my Father is here, but I still voice my displeasures at times. The world is upsetting. Nothing new--just the normal people-dying-killing-being-cruel. I was going to heaven, so I couldn't put my finger on why I was being bothered. Didn't I trust God? Didn't I have 'enough' faith to be a kind loving Christian?

Back to Baby. As the services started, people started settling down, and another voice Baby loves so well--Grandpa--was leading the music. All is well with Baby now. The outside world has left her alone, and she is firmly fixed on Grandpa's voice up on stage. The one she knows loves her and would protect her at all costs. Although she is sitting with Grandma, she knows Grandpa isn't very far away. After the music, Grandpa comes and sits with her. The pastor is preaching in a soft mellow voice. A few minutes later, snuggled up by Grandma, and seeing Grandpa close by, Baby makes very contented baby noises. Now THAT was music to my ears I could feel my own nerves settling down as her voices of displeasure became voices of contentment. I wanted to make noises of contentment in my own life, but for a while, all I could muster were the voices of frustration. I couldn't figure out why, and THAT frustrated me.

A week or so later, Grandpa gives the message, since Pastor isn't available. Come to find out, Grandpa is tired and angry as well. Why? We're tired of people hurting themselves and each other. Not judging them, just observing that there's a lot of hurt going on. We're tired of our loved ones suffering, and we can't do anything about it. As I write this, I have a dear friend that has maybe 4-5 days of life here on this earth. She has been fighting cancer for a few months now. It has been painful to watch her suffer. I can't stop her suffering. I can't stop her husband's heartache as he watches his beloved lying in torment day after day after day. And I'm tired of it. For weeks now, maybe not even able to put it in conscious words, I have been making discontented baby sounds. Like Baby saw Grandma and Grandpa close by, she was still bombarded on every side with all these other people invading her life. Wanting her to pay attention to THEM (yes, I was one of THEM). Although she knew Grandma and Grandpa were there, she was still frustrated and at times, even angry at the things going on around her. Sometimes, she caused the frustrations herself (reaching for the coffee) and sometimes, just happenstance frustrated her, (Could I PLEASE hold Baby??) Be it her doings or the 'worlds' doing, Baby was frustrated.

With my own frustrations, sometimes it's of my own doing. Perhaps I have also reached out for the proverbial coffee, and when it spilled, I wanted to lash out at the world for putting the coffee in my reach to begin with. I know God is there. I know Jesus lives inside me, but I still want this world to leave me alone. I want it to leave my Family alone.
This week, my Father has begun the music again. Although the world is still around me, I can tune my focus in on Him, the One Who loves me unconditionally. I still know that my friend is dying. I still know that her husband (also my friend) will have some trials up ahead, but I can start making contented baby sounds, because I know that my friend too, will soon hear our Father singing as her faith is soon made sight. I know that, although her passing will be a trial for her husband, he too, will soon hear our Father singing out to us.

Although we are with Jesus now, just as Baby was with Grandma. We know that, as soon as our Father is through singing, He'll bring us to Him, and we can be with Him for eternity. Meanwhile, we can focus on His voice, and make contented noises.

Thank you for allowing me to share my heart.
Blessings
Lisa