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Hey Trent,
What a heart warming post! I, too, much perfer the God I found when I was wallering in my sinful ways, than I did when I was busy trying to get nominated for" Ms. Christian of the year" I think we appreciate His love much more when we realize that there is not a thing within us that would "make" God love us. Your thoughts remind me of that woman Luke spoke of (Luke 7: 36-50) The Pharisee got all bent out of shape because Jesus was 'allowing' the sinful woman to hang around him. However, as Jesus pointed out, those who are forgiven much, love more. I dare say I'm in the same boat as that woman was (Was she Mary magdalene or merely an unnamed character?). When I was playing church, I sort of took God's blessings for granted. A give and take deal on both sides, so to speak. However, when I finally got so burnt out that I just stopped everything in 'real' life, that's when the tables were turned. I had become unfaithful to the God of my youth, I had stopped reading my Bible, stopped teaching in the kids' ministries, just totally stopped. Then, not only did I just 'stop' doing the 'goody goody' stuff, I "started' doing bad stuff. Nothing that would taint my reputation (at least not as long as nobody found out about it) but stuff that for once, I didn't HAVE to be the answer to everyone's problem. One thing led to another... and POW! Here's the prodigal son (daughter) wallerin' in the pig stye. Talk about appreciating God's love all the more. Oh dear heavens! God must really be disappointed in me! To show me just how wrong I was, God sent one of His kids to share His love with me. I was at the end of my rope, that's when God's love started being my salvation... by reality.
And every day, I'm reminded of just how much God DOES love me, in spite of my sins (which can be many)
I think it's His love that draws me back to Him, and makes me NOT want to do the things I used to do. Not saying I don't ever do them, but I'm reminded of His love all over again, and I REGRET doing them. Not because God's going to zap me for doing such and such, but mainly because God loves me, and I want to love Him in return. And when I choose to wallow in my sinful ways--that's not a response of Love.
Thanks for sharing Trent,
Blessings
Lisa

Spoken like a true gracehead. Looking back on the many years of self-righteous rebellion (you know, the type that the church applauds but not God) whenever my sin was acknowledged I ran from God, rather then to God. I figured once I spiffed up my righteousness, then I God would have no choice but to approve of me. HA HA! What a delusion!

When we are in sin, we run TO the Lord. He has the solution, and the Way to rescue us. But pride often makes us unsure, as if we trust more in our good-deeds then His finished work. ... so we flee, when we need Him most.

Perhaps if there is any one indicator that would show us most often when we are broken and soft hearted it is simply our reaction to the appearance of our sins. And whenever we are heard of heart and pridefully stiff-necked we flee away from God, and retreat into disgust and self-effort ... trying to earn back by goodness what we think we lost by evil.
Brokenness is sorrowful gasping and humble dependence of mournful regret. Softness has zero hope in impressing God, and a deep need for His nearness.

Ripening,
Trent