Oh yes I am. Apparently I have not been delivered of my shame just yet anyway. Have you ever thought about the ways a person could possibly be ashamed of Jesus? I had a major slap in the face just recently--due to my inability to stand up for Jesus. I've had this friend I've known for about fifteen years. I lost contact with him, and have just recently found him on Facebook. Turns out, he's embraced the homosexual lifestyle with full force. I sent him a friend request and he never answered me. A couple of weeks later I sent him a mail asking why he wouldn't talk to me...
Here's his response:
"Hey hun...I know u'r a beautiful person & I want to say hi...I just worry a bit I guess because it's taken so many yrs to accept myself how I was born (gay) & ok I know u'r religious (which I respect cuz my mom is too, etc) ...I would never want to change u but I guess I worry u might want to do that to me or judge me & just don't want to go thru that again, etc. I'd luv to reconnect & be FB friends....I'm the sweetest guy around & from my memories of u, I know u r too...just talking out loud right now (thanx to a few too many beers..haha)...what r ur thoughts?...am I worrying fr nothing?"
So, you know what MY RESPONSE WAS? Shoot, I'm too embarrassed to even put it on here. Something along the lines of: "Oh, I won't judge you....oh no, not me, I can keep my beliefs to myself...I won't force you to believe anything I believe..." blah blah blah.
I'm ashamed, and would like to run and cover my face in embarrassment!
Do you know what Jesus says those who are ashamed of Him?
Luke 9:26
For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when He comes in His [own] glory, and [in His] Father's, and of the holy angels.
OUCH! I have since repented...and I know I have been forgiven....
These things are a big deal though. These little "slips" of denial. No different than Peter, and his words when asked if he was one of Jesus' disciples--"He denied it and said, "I am not!"
I need to stop this. I write my struggles for a couple of reasons. It's so common amongst us, yet we are so ashamed even of our own selves to admit that is indeed what we have done! Also, I want to remind all of us of the sobering words Jesus says of those who deny Him. He will be ashamed of us. I do not want Him to be ashamed of me. I do not even want the thought to cross His mind.....
I am so sorry...
So give directly to the poor, as your heart leads you, for in serving God shall no man profit by monetary means, but shall profit only by that which the Lord God gives. And the profit God gives is true, and in no wise is it of men or mammon. For the Lord delights in that which one gives to another, in My name, and by the works of their own hands and feet in all righteousness...this is the tithe in which the Lord delights most. If one comes to you, saying, ‘Give me a cup of water...give them a drink in My name. If one comes, saying, ‘I need a shirt, for I am naked and cold...give them your shirt and your coat also. And if this same one asks, ‘Will you walk with me this far?...go with them double. So tithe not just of your money, but of your possessions, of your body, of your strength, of your time, of your very life, and you shall receive ten-fold in Heaven and in the Kingdom to come. Do this, and you shall really know Me and the Father also, for I am of the Father. [Jesus speaking] (Receive the Lords Blessing - Letters from God and His Christ - Volume 6)