_{by Trent - from August 2005}

My mind is perverted. (nice lead-in, eh?)
I battled that for years as a Christian, always asking God to take it away from me, and always plagued with base impulses. Then I realized that I gave it to God the first time.

If you sign over your property to me, don't comfort yourself if I don't take if from you the first day, or even the first week. It is mine and I'll take it when I want to take it. Such is the nature of what we give God.

Well, from that revelation I quit asking God to take it from me, and instead I thanked God that He already had it. Slowly but surely, progress was made. My carnal mind might still have the impulse to let my eyes wander, but I do not wallow in it. That no longer comforts me, and it did not suit me, so I would just thank God that I gave that idol to Him. ... and I can't believe my mind's purity these days. I am wondering what happened to the pervert that used to live up there. But, who knows what I might do later on today ... however, I'll still be thankful that God has it and I don't have to keep asking Him to take it even if I fall.

That might seem like shocking passivity, but more radical to me is the unbelief I had when I was juggling the struggle - tossing it to God, but catching it on the way down and tossing it again, and again, and again ... until I thought that I would just have to keep it forever.