Thank you for sharing that beautiful and simple, yet profound, little testimony, Pam. you are truly one of His little treasures.

blessings at Christmas and for the New Year...

Len

Thanks for this very en-couraging and timely nugget. Praise His Name.

Grey

Morning Len,

You too, Len. In the new year, let's purpose to celebrate Jesus every day and rest in Him no matter what comes, knowing that He is watching over us. May you have a Jesusful New Year!

Pam

Grey,

You are very welcome and know that if you have been encouraged by that which fills my heart but comes from God, that these words were a special gift from Him to you through me. May all of your days be filled with Jesus.

Pam

Yes Pam I can so relate to this. I would like to share this with you. The following are writings I made when i finally reached that darkness. Rock bottom.
"The ultimate sacrifice"
If only they could see inside me, then maybe they would understand. Understand what you say? Well let me open it up for you. So that you might see what it is that torments my soul in such a way that I no longer possess the will to live. When you reach and reach, but there's nothing to grasp or no one to take your hand.12/15/2005.
So I thought.
"FATHER i want those you have given me to be with me where I AM, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because YOU loved ME before the creation of the world." Righteous FATHER, though the world does not know you,and they know that you have sent me, I have made you known to them , and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I MYSELF may be in them.
John17:24-26 MY prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one."Sanctify them by the truth as you sent me into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.
John 17:15-19
When I recall the yesterdays. The rubble,storm and stife; I thank my precious LORD again for giving me new life. There was a time of darkness and i'd surely lost my way. my life was empty, meaningless ;i could not even pray. Rejection heightend feelings of my lack of self esteem; Failure ate my piece of mind, destroyed my every dream. The mornings that i awakened too, held nothing more than dread. My hope for happiness dissolved, i wished that i were dead. But then, one single word "forgive" was spoken from the throne and in my spirit beamed a light he beckoned, child come home i died to self that he might live within the heart of me; i chose the certain route to peace, my sheperd now is HE. I'm walking in HIS victory, a child of CHRIST my KING. In HIM i find fullfillment and to HIM my praise i sing.

Hi Jay,

I was once in that place also, many, many years ago. I did not know Jesus then. I actually succeded in taking my life. There were no bright lights but only darkness that swallowed me. Then God allowed the doctors to bring me back so that He could reveal His Son Jesus to me and fill me with His Life that I might never again long for death. I have been through times that were every bit as dark as the time in which I tried to end it all but the difference is that I am no longer of that darkness. I am now a child of Light and because Jesus lives in me, the darkness is swallowed up in Him and cannot swallow me.

Thank you for sharing this, Jay. The Joy of the Lord is always ours even in the midst of great sadness but oh! how wonderous to be filled with the constant and indestructible Joy that is Jesus during times of happiness also. Abide in His Joy and be happy too! May every day be a day to celebrate, Jesus! God bless!

Pam

JESUS is TRULY The Way out of darkness and death: He swallowed up all the darkness, all the sin, and all the penalty that *we* deserved: and offers us HIS LIFE in return. (!)

Come, Let us adore Him . . .
day after day and for all eternity:

Come, Let us adore Him... JESUS, THE LORD.

Pam,

I find a familiar tone in your words. As a husband I find that women often tend to see only the 'bad' until they really look at everything 'bad', and only then can they begin to accept the good things that are happening. I think Dr. Grey noted something similar in his Venus/Mars book.

In a spiritual sense (where there is no difference between men and women), I think we're all a lot like that too. Only when we have accepted the vanity of the world, the magnitude of our transgressions, and our dependence on superficial signs and reason, can we know the blessedness of forgivenness, love, and faith.

Having posted a comment shamefully longer than the original post, I will conclude by wishing Pam (and all at GH) a Merry Christmas.

BB,

Post as many lengthy comments as you like. I enjoy them all.:0) Besides, turn-about is fairplay and I am rather verbose as well.;-}

Pam

"He wounds and then He heals;"

I've been reading through Lamentations. There's a verse where Jeremiah writes that his God has made Himself like an enemy ... sometimes I think God allows us to go through hardship so that we can recognize His voice when it appears different.

Have you written any posts which are like testimonies or reflections on hardship? You sound like someone who has 'learned' some major things going through life.

(My apologies for the request if you have and I didn't notice it!)

BB,

Yes, I have learned a great deal through hardship and actually, I think that is a common thread in many of my posts. I have struggled with illness most all of my life and it has been my constant teacher. It is what God has used in my life to humble me, draw me close to him, and teach me compassion.

I'm sorry that I can't think of a specific title right now but if you read the ones that are titled Heart Song, you should find that thread there.

Pam

p.s. Lamentations is a book I read when I start thinking that we are living in tough time. Lamentations are the worst of times. We should all read them when we start to feel sorry for ourselvs.:0) I agree that they are given to us that we might never give up hope but know that His Mercy endures forever through all that we are called upon to endure.

Pam