If there is anything that we human beings are adept at, it is that of abuse. If we are not abusing another, we are abusing ourselves, and if not ourselves then nature. All of us, to varying degrees, are either abused or ourselves, abusers.
Though many Christians balk at the term as it is one widely used in the vernacular of psychology, it is only that, current vernacular lifted from the popular culture. One aspect of what we with a Biblically influenced world view call sin.
We live in an era when thinkers are defining and seeking ways to end our propensity for abuse. There is however, one form of abuse that I have not heard named though daily, I am faced with those who are victimized and those who victimize by its practice. I call it spiritual abuse and just as it is now recognized that the worst forms of abuse are emotional and psychological (as the bruises from a physical beating will heal quickly but the invisible scars left upon a person emotionally may never completely heal) so too is spiritual abuse an invisible abuse. The common denominator in all abuse is the disrespect of another's boundaries as a person. Spiritual abuse in all of its forms is disrespectful not only of the boundaries of another but tramples that area in each of us that belongs only to ourselves and to God. I am the recovering victim of spiritual abuse as I am also a recovering spiritual abuser.
Spiritual abuse exploits within each victim our inborn need for God. Life is highly chaotic and unpredictable and humans all need the comfort of predictability. We also are all in need of the unearned love that comes only from God. I have found an anomaly in life in that everyone I meet whether they be Christian or not, whether they be religious or not, all have a concept of Jesus and of God. Even the most ardent mocker knows fully what it is that they mock. That inborn definition, I believe, is planted by God within each human being to be revealed to each at God's choosing. I believe that God reveals Himself to each of us in His own time. First of all, to serve His overall plan and also when it is most beneficial to us individually. Spiritual abuse occurs when human beings seek to usurp the authority of God in this revealing process.
There is no more useful tool for abuse than religion. There are many among us who have been taught that love must be earned by doing that which is admirable and religion gives them perfect opportunity to earn human admiration. I believe that these people actually mistake admiration as love. These folks are very apt to enter traditional ministry or become leaders in the church. The greater the audience the greater their chances of receiving that admiration that they so desire. The more they receive the more they become insatiable for admiration is not true love. True love is self-existent just as God is self-existent. God is love. God is not to be earned through the performance of admirable acts but only received as He chooses to reveal Himself to each of us. Those that I recognize as the spiritual abusers of my day were revealed to us by Jesus as the Pharasees of His day. Two thousand plus years later, the vernacular has changed but human nature has not changed. There is truly "nothing new under the sun"
These hopeful earners of God's graces by the earning of human admiration tend always to turn to manipulation as a means of growing an audience by which to gain the admiration they hunger for. They seek always to step between another and God Himself. When they succeed, they make of their disciples also manipulators of men. They will sail all the seas and travel around the world in order to practice the manipulative tactics they call evangelizing in an attempt to be glorified in the lives of many. They do many great works in the name of God for God but either God has not yet revealed Himself to them or their nature is still struggling against the fullness of that revelation.
I have participated in many programs and learned many methods and spent many hours evangelizing by manipulation. I have been a spiritual abuser. I struggled against Jesus in me as He had revealed and continues to reveal Himself to me that I might have the approval of influential Christians. I traded the undeserved love that I did not fully understand for the admiration of those whom I mistakenly admired. As I was abused by them, they so taught me how to also abuse and there is no way to harm more greatly another human being than by the practice of spiritual abuse.
The only cure for the victims and perpetrators of spiritual abuse is Jesus. It is in remaining true to Him as He reveals Himself in us and to us by the receiving of His undeserved love that can heal us as victims and as perpetrators of spiritual abuse. Cling to Jesus and abandon religion. Cling to Jesus and abandon the seeking of human admiration and acceptance.
As I cling to Jesus and receive the fullness of his undeserved love, the true love that is God, I cease to hunger for the false love of human admiration. In clinging to Jesus as He reveals the Father to me, through His very person Who lives in me, I will be freed from the cycle of receiving and the perpetuation of spiritual abuse.
All sin is sin, and requires forgiveness. All sin is not equal, only forgiveness is equal. All sin is forgiven through the cross. Only the peoples rejection of that sacrifice leaves them in the dark, separated from God. ~ God [Letters from God and His Christ - Volume 2 - Those of Steadfast Faith in Christ are Free From Doubt, In Them Sin Has Also Vanished]