Isaiah 53 Who has believed our report? And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed? For He shall grow up before him as a tender plant, And as a root out of dry ground. He has no form or comeliness; And when we see Him, There is no beauty that we should desire Him. He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely He has borne our griefs And carried or sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way; And the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He opened not His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, And as a sheep before its shearers is silent, So He opened not His mouth. He was taken from prison and from judgment, and who will declare His generation? For He was cut off from the land of the living; For the transgressions of My people He was stricken. And they made His grave with the wicked---But with the rich at His death, Because He had done no violence, Nor was any deceit in His mouth. Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise Him; He has put Him to grief. When You make His soul and offering for sin, He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His days, And the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in His hand. He shall see the travail of His soul, and be satisfied. By His knowledge My righteous Servant shall justify many, For He shall bear their iniquities. Therefore I will divide Him a portion with the great, And He shall divide the spoil with the strong, Because He poured out His soul unto death, And He was numbered with the transgressors, And He bore the sin of many, And made intercession for the transgressors.

I have a deep desire that all should come to know Jesus. However, if the fulfillment of that desire should be found in the success and appeal of my own life then no other living soul will ever come to know Jesus as Savior. Though I have known Jesus for 31 years, my life is not an exemplary one. I am nothing special. I am not always happy or without pain. I do not have a perfect family that has left me with a strong godly heritage to follow. Neither have I been able to ensure that my children should become Christians. I have no great wealth and the ravages of disease have not passed me by. In most respects, I am no different from a nonbeliever. I am an average human being who has not experienced anything but average success in any given area. I know there are many who do not perceive me as blessed and even question my salvation as I don't have an appealing testimony of successful Christian living to offer. My life is much more like the fiery trial of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abindigo than that which is promised in many churches upon acceptance of Jesus Christ. Much of my life has been trial rather than abundant material blessings that are so appealing to our nature. Yet, I am very blessed for in whatever I have suffered and endured, Jesus has never left me. Though much of my life has not been happy, I have joy in Jesus and nothing in this life can take that from me.

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Just as Jesus was not and is not appealing to the world neither is my life a good promo for Jesus to those who desire the good things of the world. Jesus lives in me and there is nothing in me that appeals to those who desire a successful earthly life. I can't promise a rose garden in Jesus but I can tell you that in Him is eternal life. Faith in Jesus is a gift of God and it is that gift that overcomes the world and the curse of death that lies over it because of sin. The best gifts are not those desires that have been named and requested and then filled by someone who desires to please us and gain our favor for themselves. The best gifts are those that surprise us, given to us by someone who loves us and knows us better than we know ourselves. The best gifts are those that fill a need in our life rather than satisfy a fleeting desire. The gift of faith in Jesus is of the second type of gift. A gift from God that when left to ourselves, does not appeal to us for none of us are born with the desire to seek after God. Yet, it is knowing God through Jesus that changes our wrong desires to those which truly have hope of finding fulfillment that satisfies; and that satisfaction is found in Jesus Christ.

No matter how I long for all to know Jesus (and that all includes everyone from the richest to the poorest, to the purest, to the most defiled,) I am not able to give Jesus to anyone. Jesus is not a gift that can come from me but from God only. I am only a mouthpiece, an instrument to be played by God as He bestows the gift of faith in Jesus Christ upon those that He is calling out of the world to suit His purpose. As a person bought and paid for by the blood of Jesus, I am to be used by God and have not been granted any special privilege that grants me the power to use God to suit my desires. Neither have I been given power to earn for myself specific blessings for blessings are also gifts not of our choosing. They are gifts received and not earned.

As all believers, I desire that others see Jesus in me but if I also desire adoration at that recognition my desire will never be met. Jesus is not appealing to the world and if He lives in me then I will not appeal to those of the world either. It is in fact, my lack of worldly success that best demonstrates Christ in me. I am not unhappy without that success and that is due to the joy that I have in Jesus. Though I am not blessed with worldly wealth, I am blessed beyond measure to be gifted of Jesus and to have my heart's desire changed from that which hungers after the world and all that it has to offer to a heart that desires nothing but the lowly Jesus and to be made just like Him.