I have spent considerable time pondering this subject, and heard some horror stories of destroyed relationships by the mishandling of confessing our sins one to another.

Confessors of misconduct avoid the deeper issue of WHY they did it. They say that they did this and that, but it is explained like a "slip up" or "accident." They are sorry for what they did, but if they stop short of becoming repentant about the reason for the misbehavior. Spiritual walk addressed the flesh, as the deepest reason for the sin, and treats the sin as intentional, not accidental. We don't really slip-up accidentally, rather we fell out with God way before we ever fell into sin ... and the falling out with God is the deeper issue.

Galatians 5:16
"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature."

As soon as we quit walking by the Spirit, then we have no ability to overcome our sinful nature. The reason for all sin, is our own sinfulness. Let's not pretend that anything was accidental or a "slip-up." If we categorize it as careless errors, then we show far too much self-confidence.

Nothing is more harmful to the Spiritual walk then self-confidence. Self-confidence is the subtle way to rely upon ourselves when we should be relying upon the Spirit. People that are self-reliant, are not "living by the Spirit." (see also: Romans 8:9, Romans 8:13, Galatians 6:8)

Romans 8:6
"The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace;"

So lets not say that the real problem is the misconduct of adultery, or gluttony, or lying, or whatever the misbehavior was, when the deeper issue is our carnal sinful tendencies. I would rather hear someone confess their WEAKNESS that leads to sin, then the sin itself.

2 Corinthians 11:30
"If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

What I believe James is talking about in 5:16 doesn't avoid a deeper issue of the reason we sinned. It is the confessing of our sinfulness, the ROOT CAUSE for the misconduct, rather then the misconduct itself.

This means that an adulterer, should not go to church members and say "I have intercourse with this person at this place and time." Rather, an adulterer should make a habit of boasting in their weaknesses and make a point of it to tell everyone that they have terrible weaknesses that toward cheating and that they are perverted, and adulterous of heart ... and that Jesus is the only reason that they are not a bigger scandal then they already are.

Boasting in our weakness and confessing our sinfulness (rather then just confessing misconduct) is a great witness to the Gospel, and how God has saved you from so many MORE sins that you would have committed except for the grace of God. It is also a great reminder that we cannot afford self-confidence or self-reliance, and that we cannot be over-confident upon the Lord.

The specific details of our misbehavior that we have done in the past is not really everybody's business, and I would question why third parties would be vicariously interested in all of that. So why be detailed about the deed, when we should be confessing the weakness of our flesh?