Here is one from the email box, today. Sent in by Len, who knows that I am a sucker for parodies like this.
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* Blessed are those Christians who are TOO TIRED, TOO BUSY, TOO DISTRACTED and TOO IMPORTANT to spend time with their fellow Christians in church, - for they are my best candidates to backslide.
* Blessed are those Christians who WAIT TO BE ASKED and EXPECT TO BE THANKED, - for I can use them to slow things down aplenty.
* Blessed are those Christians who are VERY RELIGIOUS but GET ON EVERYONE'S CASE and EVERYONE'S NERVES, - for they are my most effective stumbling blocks.
* Blessed are those Christians who are TROUBLEMAKERS, - for they are
ever my best wrecking crew.
* Blessed are those Christians who have NO TIME TO PRAY, - for they are easy prey for me and my minions.
* Blessed are those Christians who are COMPLAINERS, - for they are my best discouragers.
* Blessed are those Christians who are TOUCHY, - with a bit of luck they may STOP GOING TO CHURCH and get others to quit with them, - for they are my missionaries.
* and Blessed are *you* when you read this and you are SO SURE this is all about OTHER PEOPLE and NOT yourself at all, - for THEN I've got you right where I want you.
~ Matthew 5:1-16 ~ Romans, chapter 12 ~
Behold the Lamb of God! Without spot or blemish sent to die for the sins of the world, bearing the full weight of transgression in His own body. My Son, you are, and will always be, the Risen Lamb of God, whereby you took the leaven of the world, having completely unleavened all men once for all time by your blood, having been the perfect sacrifice for sin, acceptable to God, whereby men have been reconciled to the Father; they themselves becoming once again My sons and daughters free to enter the Garden and My love, which they shall never again be separated; their new life lived in and for Christ Jesus, the Lord and Savior, in whom I am well pleased. ~ God [Letters from God and His Christ - Volume 5 - Unleavened]